It's 2 A.M. on Monday morning and I have to be at work in a few short hours for the first time in almost two weeks. It's going to be the worst Monday in the history of Mondays. I'm wide awake though, changing time zones will do that to ya.
I just returned from an eye-opening trip to California and my mind is racing with hopes, thoughts, plans and possibilities. My dear friend Molly moved to San Francisco this past summer and I finally got the chance to visit. "You'll love it out here," she told me. "You should really think about moving here," she said. "You NEED to get out of Buffalo," was repeated many times.
Truth is, that thought has been in my head for quite some time. The only thing holding me back was fear. What if I can't stand being away from my family? What if I hate it? What if it makes me sad? What if I miss something important at home? What if I want to move back and can't find a job?
Some of those fears still exist for me, but this trip muted them substantially. And it pretty much obliterated the, "What if I hate it?" part. I know with almost absolute certainty that I would completely love living in San Francisco.
Whenever I'd considered moving away before, New York was always at the top of my list. I think that was part of the problem. New York is scary. It's dirty and cold and gigantic and mean. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it, but it's MEAN. (New York, you know I love you, please forgive me.) The scariness is part of its appeal though, if you can make it there you can make it anywhere, right? I've always had this drive to prove that I can be successful on my own in a big city like that.
This trip opened my eyes to the possibility of being successful on my own in a big, friendly city. San Francisco is clean and warm and bright and welcoming. Life there seems manageable. Everyone seems genuinely happy, at least everyone that I met. And the best part? It's on the freaking ocean! It doesn't get any better than that. Any city where you can look out your window and see surfers walking down the street in their wet suits, carrying surf boards is far from intimidating.
Observing Molly and her group of friends, many of them Buffalo transplants and almost all of them transplants from somewhere, I saw a group of positive, adventurous, energetic, spirited, easy-going people who are so full of life. A drastic change from the mid-winter population of Buffalo. I had a lot of fun with them and hope to have more fun soon.
I will always be a Buffalo girl at heart, but there is a whole big world out there with so much opportunity. I want to explore it, to learn and grow from it. There are things out there that Buffalo just can't offer an unattached 25 year-old girl itching for something more in her life.
California inspired me to end the stagnation. I've been in a rut and the only way I'll ever get out is to climb. I've been unhappy with life lately and I am the only one that can turn it around. Will I end up in San Francisco? Perhaps. Only time will tell.
"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dream. Wandering by lone sea breakers, and sitting by desolate streams. World losers and world forsakers, for whom the pale moon gleams. Yet we are movers and the shakers of the world forever it seems." - Arthur William Edgar O'Shaughnessy
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