Things That Make Me Feel Better When I'm Down

1. Alcohol
There's nothing like sipping on a few guilt-free citrus vodka and soda waters (zero calories!) to take the edge off. Or, a Black Forest Martini, complete with chocolate swizzle stick (4,000 calories). Or both. This is usually done with good friends who won't judge me for drunkenly yelling about whatever (or more likely, whoever) has made me feel crappy. The yelling is done loudly with lots of hand waving and swearing. If the alcohol is consumed alone, there are serious problems.

2. Shopping
Buying new clothes seems to work best. It's a real morale booster to have fancy new outfits to wear. Shoes work too, especially FM shoes. If you don't know what that means, google it. A girl means business when she's wearing FM shoes. If it's one of those days that I can't find a single thing to wear that doesn't make me feel like a bloated manatee, a larger purchase is necessary. Electronics or jewelery are nice substitutes.

3. Eating
Comfort foods, including pasta, anything involving ground beef and chocolate baked goods are a must, preferably all in one meal.

4. Country Music
When you work at a county fair for six years, you learn to like country music a little or you hang yourself. For some reason, listening to lyrics like, "I hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive. You’re a redneck, heartbreak who’s really been a lie," puts me in a better mood.

5. Working Out
When I've gorged myself on food and drink, spent all of my money and can't stand one more backwoods country sob story with a twang, I drag myself to the gym. I'm usually kicking and screaming on the inside, but when I get into a groove on the elliptical and break a sweat, the endorphins kick in and I feel like Lara Croft or something. I could kick anyone's ass. And maybe I will.