Breaking the Glass Ceiling

Last month, I attended the Public Relations Society of America Northeast District Conference. It was held right here in Buffalo at the Adams Mark Hotel and the conference was a huge success, blowing past attendance numbers out of the water.

The most interesting session that I attended by far was titled, “Is there a glass ceiling for women in public relations?” It was given by Brenda J. Wrigley, Ph.D., APR, Associate Professor of Public Relations, S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University. Dr. Wrigley has done extensive research on gender and diversity in public relations, but her findings extend to women in just about every field.

In most cases, women are paid less than men to do the exact same job, and the higher the position, the wider the gap. The salary difference between a man and woman hired for an executive position is much greater than an entry-level position. This chart from The Scientist demonstrates that gap for professionals in higher education. How unfair is that?

So why does this happen? Some people say it’s our own fault. Even if differences in starting salaries are minimal, those differences can have a huge impact down the road. An article in The Washington Post explained it like this...

“If a 22-year-old man and a 22-year-old woman are offered $25,000 for their first job, for example, and one of them negotiates the amount up to $30,000, then over the next 28 years, the negotiator would make $361,171 more, assuming they both got 3 percent raises each year. And this is without taking into account the fact that the negotiators don't just get better starting pay; they also win bigger raises over the course of their careers.”

Guess what my starting salary was at my first job? Less than $25,000 and I did not negotiate. Dr. Wrigley would not approve. She encourages all of her students, men and women, to never accept an initial offer, no matter how badly you want the job. She said that a company will treat you the nicest when they are trying to hire you, and if they’re not willing to play ball then, don’t expect much once you’re in. If they won’t negotiate, you probably don’t want to work there anyway. I wish someone would have told me that a long time ago.

The article goes on to say that while some may conclude that women are simply less aggressive than men, due to a combination of genetics and upbringing, that’s not the entire story. A study found that men and women get very different responses when they initiate salary negotiations. The article said, “Both men and women were more likely to subtly penalize women who asked for more -- the perception was that women who asked for more were ‘less nice’.”

Put bluntly, women who ask for a higher salary are bitches. The study also found that men were always less willing to work with a woman who had attempted to negotiate than a woman who had not. They always preferred to work with a woman who stayed “mum,” but it didn’t matter to these men whether a guy had chosen to negotiate or not. [EDITOR’S NOTE: WTF?!?!?!?!]

So, if a woman makes less money than her male counterpart, but can’t ask for a higher salary or that counterpart will think she’s a bitch, what’s a girl to do? I say, bring it on jerks. I’m not condemning every male on the face of the planet and calling them all sexist pigs. Certainly, most men do not hold this view, at least most of the men that I know. But some people do think this way, to some degree, and we can’t sit back and take it anymore. You think I’m a bitch because I want equal pay? So what? I think your CRAZY. Let’s not let a little name calling stop us ladies.

We need support from our non-crazy male coworkers as well. I work closely with several guys and I don’t think they’d be less willing to work with me if I asked for a raise. I’d like to think that showing initiative and asking for a higher salary would earn respect.

The only way to change this is to take action and refuse to accept the status quo. This may mean personal sacrifice, in the form of passing up unsatisfactory job offers, but we can’t keep doing this to ourselves or things will never change. It won’t happen overnight, it might not even happen in my lifetime, but we have to get the ball rolling and take a stand. Women deserve equal pay and we can’t wait around for someone else to fix the system.

The House That Ruth Built

I spent Labor Day weekend in New York City and let me tell you, it was a good time. My little brother and I drove there together, almost sixteen hours in a car with your sibling... not everyone can survive that. He's an odd duck, but we get along well, most of the time.

The idea for this trip came about while watching the Home Run Derby back in July. Tim and I were sitting in the living room, watching Josh Hamilton blast homer after homer out of Yankee Stadium, when we thought, "Wouldn't it be cool to see that place before it's gone forever?"

My parents were vacationing in Boston at the time and being the spoiled brats that we are, we were a little miffed about being left behind. Itching to take a trip of our own, we bought tickets to the Yankees vs. Blue Jays game on August 31.

I'm not really a Yankees fan. I'm not passionate about baseball, I don't have an allegiance to any particular team and I have enough respect for baseball's true fans to not be a faker. Hockey and football rule my heart, but I can appreciate any sport. I play softball, grew up going to Bison's games and find baseball entertaining. Plus, how can you not love those tight pants? I kid, I kid.

I am, however, a sucker for history and seeing an 85-year old stadium where all the greats played - Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, Jackie Robinson, Yogi Bera, the one and only Babe Ruth and so many more - THAT was really, really cool.

The Yankees lost that day, but it didn't matter. We got to see the the House that Ruth Built. We got to eat Nathan's hot dogs (which I didn't really like) and see A-Rod hit a home run and cram into the subway with all of the other Yankees fans. It was an experience I won't ever forget.

The rest of the trip was lots 'o fun too. Except when Tim accidentally got lost in the Bronx in the middle of the night and I had a mini panic attack. I checked out ESPN Zone for the first time, saw Times Square lit up at night (something that never gets old for me, no matter how many times I've seen it), moseyed around the Virgin Music Store, said hello to Lady Liberty, ate pizza in Little Italy, sang karaoke in Chinatown and even hung out at a block party in Brooklyn.

Thanks to our gracious host for the place to stay, the endless hours of entertainment and putting up with my anti-social sibling. Someday he'll grow out of his quiet phase and astound you with amazing conversation skills. Maybe not.

“American should be a place where you can make it if you try.” – Michelle Obama

I’ve been asked many times why I support Barack Obama. I’ve never had a solid answer. The truth is, he charmed me. I think that is true for many Americans. He’s a well-spoken, passionate man who talks about change. He's young, he's new, he's different and I find him inspiring.

However, I don’t think that’s a good enough reason to support a presidential candidate. Decisions of that caliber should be made based on solid facts and every American should be educated on the issues before deciding which politician to support. So, I took the time to read about Obama’s positions on his website www.barackobama.com.

Below is a list of issues that are important to me, followed by what I like about Obama’s views on each. Agree or disagree, if you’re reading this, I hope you take the time to make your own educated decisions and vote this November.

Environment
Obama wants to eliminate our need for Middle Eastern oil within 10 years by drilling for oil at home. If oil were a domestic issue today, the U.S. wouldn’t be at war with Iraq, so that sounds like a good plan to me.

He wants to get 1 million hybrid cars on the road by 2015. He also wants to increase fuel economy standards by 4 percent per year and provide funds for domestic automakers to renovate manufacturing facilities in the U.S. to produce these greener vehicles. He has a goal – and a plan to achieve that goal.

Obama also wants to see that 10 percent of our electricity comes from renewable sources by 2012, and 25 percent by 2025 and has a program to reduce greenhouse gas emissions 80 percent by 2050.

Foreign Affairs
Barack Obama believes in renewing American diplomacy through a willingness to meet with leaders of all nations, friend and foe. Problems can’t be solved through silence. Open communication is the only hope for change.

I believe that one of the most critical foreign affair issues today is the situation in Darfur. Obama promises to impose tougher sanctions that target Sudan’s oil revenue and engage in more intense, effective diplomacy to stop the genocide in Darfur.

Healthcare
Obama has a plan that involves health insurance for all Americans. If you already have health insurance, he wants to provide you with cheaper insurance. If you’re uninsured, he promises to fix that. Most importantly, his plan requires that all children have health care coverage.

Immigration
Obama will work to secure American borders while fixing the current dysfunctional immigration system and increasing the number of legal immigrants to keep families together. He supports a system that allows undocumented immigrants who are in good standing to pay a fine, learn English and eventually become citizens.

I don’t think it makes sense to deport the parents or grandparents of children born in the U.S. They’re already here, they’re willing to work and their kids deserve a better life. We should work to prevent illegal entry into the country, bring illegal immigrants out of the shadows and help them do the right thing.

Iraq

“Here is the truth: fighting a war without end will not force the Iraqis to take responsibility for their own future. And fighting in a war without end will not make the American people safer. So when I am Commander-in-Chief, I will set a new goal on day one: I will end this war. Not because politics compels it. Not because our troops cannot bear the burden- as heavy as it is. But because it is the right thing to do for our national security, and it will ultimately make us safer.” – Barack Obama

Obama is fully committed to ending the war in Iraq through a responsible, phased withdrawal. While I believe our troops need to come home, I don’t think dropping everything and leaving the Iraqi citizens to fend for themselves is the answer either. Obama’s plan will remove troops by the summer of 2010, but a residual force will remain in Iraq to conduct counter-terrorism missions against al Qaeda and protect American personnel.

Obama also believes that America has a moral obligation to prevent a humanitarian crisis in Iraq, as more than five million Iraqis are refugees or are displaced inside their own country.

Economy
Obama promises tax cuts for the middle class and wants to eliminate income taxes for seniors making less than $50,000. I’m not an expert on the economy, but I am a middle class citizen and that sounds good to me.

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The thing that I like most about Barack Obama is his background. He is the product of a single-parent home and claims to be raised with working class values. His mother worked hard to provide a better life for her son. His wife, Michelle, comes from a similar background.

In her speech at the Democratic National Convention tonight, she talked about being “raised with values that you work hard for what you want in life and treat people with dignity and respect.” Cheesy as it sounds, Barack and Michelle are products of the American dream. They made their own paths in life, nothing was handed to them and they know the value of hard work. There’s something to be said about growing up like that and those are the values I want in the person running my country. I hope you take the time to think about what’s important to you.

Land of the Free

The raw human emotion that has emerged throughout the first days of competition at the Beijing Olympics has been fascinating to watch. There are so many stories about overcoming adversity and triumphant achievements, but there have also been stories about disappointment and tragedy. For every winner, there are dozens of disappointed athletes going home without the gold.

From Michael Phelps' amazing winning streak to disappointment for the ladies of the U.S. gymnastics team, I've wanted to laugh, cry, jump around and hug the athletes on my T.V. screen every night. And it's only day five of competition.

One of the coolest stories I've heard so far involves Lopez Lomong, the Sudan native elected to carry the American flag in the Opening Ceremonies. Lomong has only been a U.S. citizen for 13 months. He was separated from his parents at age 6, escaped to a refugee camp in Kenya and was brought to the U.S. in 2001 as part of a program to relocated lost children from Sudan.

At age 23, he's a 1,500-meter track runner representing the United States in the Olympics. That's quite a turn-around. He even has his own website. When asked about the honor, Lamong was more excited to be part of the democratic process involved in electing a flagbearer than the experience itself.

The U.S. athletes that elected a native of Sudan to carry the American flag in Beijing, China made quite a statement. While I don't believe the Olympics should be used as a political forum, it's difficult to ignore the host country's investment in Sudan's oil industry, despite the humanitarian crisis in Darfur. China is also one of Sudan's largest arms suppliers, which some say makes them an enabler to genocide. Read up on your China-Sudan news here.

I think the U.S. athletes found a respectful way to express their discontent with China's handling of the situation in Darfur, while still getting their message across loud and clear. I disagree with activists that called for a boycott of the so-called "Genocide Olympics." The athletes that have worked so hard to earn a spot on their country's Olympic team shouldn't suffer because of the Chinese government's decisions. And the Chinese people shouldn't be blamed for poor leadership.

As I've said before, don't judge a country's people by its government. Kudos the Team U.S.A. for expressing their opinions and maintaining the integrity of the Games.

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become." - Buddha

I’ve been staying up much too late these days because I can’t stop watching the Olympics. I’ve always been fascinated by the Games, but this year’s location is especially intriguing. Every time they show a shot of the Great Wall, the Bird’s Nest or any major tourist attraction, I yell from my spot on the couch “I’ve been there!” My family is getting slightly annoyed.

The media coverage has been overwhelming. I don’t know if there has been more coverage of these Games than in the past or if I’m just paying closer attention this time, but China is everywhere. I’ve been reading articles and watching television shows about the food, culture, government, people, environment and, oh yea - the Olympics in Beijing - just about every day for months now. I’m addicted.

Unfortunately I missed the Opening Ceremonies due to bridesmaid obligations, but people say they were spectacular. Hopefully, some sort of Beijing 2008 highlights video will be available soon. I want to soak up as much China as possible before the world stops caring about our friends in the East.

My trip to China last May taught me so much about myself, human nature and the world in general. Walking up and down the insanely busy street in front of the Friendship Hotel in Beijing by myself one day (don’t worry, it was broad daylight in a safe neighborhood), I felt so small, so insignificant. People looked at me funny because I was the only white person around. It was very intimidating.

At the time, I didn’t like it one bit. I was also hungry, tired, hot, sick and miserable. But reflecting on that experience now puts things in perspective. Sometimes we need a reminder that most of our every-day mumbles and grumbles are trivial in the grand scheme of things. This world is a big place, but not so big that we should be out of touch with the other side of it.

There are many things I’d rather forget about China – the smell, the scary food, the squatter toilets, etc. But some things I hope remain with me forever, like the breathtaking beauty of the Great Wall and walking the paths of emperors that lived thousands of years ago in the Forbidden City. I don’t want to forget the thrill of seeing the Terra Cotta Warriors or the tranquility that comes with finding a quiet corner to meditate at one of the sacred Buddhist sites, like the Big Wild Goose Pagoda.

Most importantly, I don’t want to forget the lessons about people, like the patience required to communicate without words or the simplistic way of life that most Chinese know, happy just to wake up and be able to provide for their families another day. The American way is certainly the way for me, but it’s not the only way. It’s important to respect that. Thank you, Olympics, for refreshing my memory.

Hey There Amigo

Got a new blog title, new colors and hopefully lots of new posts.

Going to the chapel, but NOT getting married!

It’s been a busy summer. Or maybe it’s just been a boring summer. Either way, I haven’t had much of a desire to blog lately. I’m trying to get back into it though. I think it’s important to keep writing, especially writing for pleasure.

The Militello-Barrie wedding went off without a hitch. The ceremony was lovely, the weather held out, the reception turned out to be a great party and everyone got along swimmingly.

No sooner did I stumble in the door, bridesmaid shoes in hand, than I found an invitation to yet another bridal shower on my kitchen table. One of my closest friends from college is getting married in October. I haven’t talked to the girl in a year, and even then it was only a quick hello-goodbye. I’ve made many attempts to stay in touch with the bride-to-be, along with a second girl that made up our threesome at Bonas. Every one of my emails and phone calls has been ignored, but I’m invited to the shower and bachelorette party in a few weeks.

Thankfully, I’ll be out of town for the shower and her wedding falls on the same day as another wedding that I’m standing up in. I think it’s a bit ridiculous to cut people out of your life and then ask them to buy you presents. I know we’re all busy and keeping in touch is difficult, but if that’s the road you want to take, stay on it.

In total, seven weddings will take place in my social circle this year. Some of them are my best friends; some of them are barely acquaintances, but seven couples that I know one way or another will be married by the end of the year. That’s fourteen people total, all approximately my age, saying “I do.”

That makes me feel oooooooold. And also, a little unaccomplished. If my friends aren’t getting married this year, they’re at least moving into their own apartments. Some of them are even moving across the country. Where am I? Living comfortably with mom and dad, still hanging out in my childhood bedroom, with no hope of new digs in sight. My financial situation just won’t allow it and most of the blame can be put on student loans. American Education Services and Great Lakes Higher Education Corporation and the HSBC Education Loan program OWN me.

I had a long talk with a dear friend about feeling like I’m being left in the dust as everyone around me accelerates into real adulthood. She said screw adulthood; let’s go teach abroad for a semester. That sounds like a lot more fun than wedding bells.